


this fulfilling warmth, forever at my side

by ohvictor



Category: A3! (Video Game)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Flashbacks, Found Family, Frozen (2013) - Freeform, Gen, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks, canon divergence where tasuku doesnt have a bunk bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-24
Updated: 2019-05-24
Packaged: 2020-03-13 12:05:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18940573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohvictor/pseuds/ohvictor
Summary: Tasuku returns to the Mankai Company dorm late this Saturday night, tired in that satisfied way after a youth theatre practice ran long. He toes off his shoes in the entryway, calling “I’m home,” down the hall to where he can hear voices in the kitchen and living room. As he’s hanging up his coat, Minagi emerges from the hallway, hiding a yawn behind his hand.“Welcome home, Takatoo-san.”“Minagi,” Tasuku greets him. He shuts the closet door behind himself and stretches out his arms behind his head. “What’s everyone up to tonight?”





	this fulfilling warmth, forever at my side

**Author's Note:**

> hello... i've become fuyugumi oshi... thank you for your time
> 
> in this one, there's a depiction of a flashback and ensuing panic attack, altho it is not the pov character, if that helps. please be careful!
> 
> title is from [azuma's solo](https://yaycupcake.com/a3/index.php?title=Gekkoujou_no_Aria)!
> 
> eta: this takes place after part 2 of the main story!

Tasuku returns to the Mankai Company dorm late this Saturday night, tired in that satisfied way after a youth theatre practice ran long. He toes off his shoes in the entryway, calling “I’m home,” down the hall to where he can hear voices in the kitchen and living room. As he’s hanging up his coat, Minagi emerges from the hallway, hiding a yawn behind his hand.

“Welcome home, Takatoo-san.”

“Minagi,” Tasuku greets him. He shuts the closet door behind himself and stretches out his arms behind his head. “What’s everyone up to tonight?”

Minagi shrugs. “Not sure about everyone. Some people are watching a movie in the living room—mostly the kids, Yukishiro-san and Fushimi-san too. Masumi and I were doing homework earlier, but I finished up for the night so I’m catching some of the movie with everyone.”

“Good job getting your homework done.”

“Thanks.” Minagi scratches the back of his head. “How was your night? You were at that other company rehearsal, right?”

Tasuku nods, affirmative. “It was good. They’re getting close to opening night, and the amount of notes I have for them after each run is decreasing. They really listen and take feedback to heart.” He pauses as a loud swell of music filters in from the living room. “What are they watching in there? A musical?”

“ _Frozen_ ,” Minagi says. “Did you ever see that?”

“No. What’s it about?”

“Well, it’s Disney,” Minagi says meaningfully, as if Tasuku should know his opinion on Disney. Tasuku nods. “The main character is a young princess with ice powers. She and her sister lose their parents in an accident, and she shuts herself away from the rest of the world... Ah, Takatoo-san?”

Tasuku barely registers his own body moving. He’s standing next to Minagi and then he’s in motion, blood pounding in his ears, his legs bending in long strides that take him down the hall and into the living room. He can hear Minagi’s hesitant footsteps trailing after him, and the music from the television grows louder as he passes through the entrance of the living room.

The various company members sprawled on the chairs, couches, and floor look up briefly as he enters, some returning back to the movie after noting who came in and others greeting him with  nods or waves. Tasuku scans the available furniture and finds no sign of Azuma, only an empty spot at the edge of the couch next to Rurikawa, who frowns when he sees Tasuku staring.

“Where’s Azuma-san?” he asks, raising his voice over the music on the TV. It’s some song about snowmen, and he barely glances at the screen, uncaring about the context.

“Don’t project so loud in here! It’s too late for noise,” Rurikawa snaps. “He’s in the kitchen getting a drink.”

“Takatoo-san,” Minagi says from behind Tasuku, and Tasuku turns to find Minagi lurking with a nervousness unbecoming of his stature.

“I remembered I have to ask Azuma-san something,” Tasuku invents. “You can go back to watching the movie.”

Minagi’s perceptive, so Tasuku’s probably not avoiding suspicion, but Minagi allows his fib, nodding and heading over to sit in a spot next to Fushimi on the floor. Everyone else is turning back to the movie as well, no longer disturbed by Tasuku’s breathless entrance. That’s good; if he’s drawn extra attention to Azuma slipping out, Azuma probably wouldn’t like it.

He heads into the kitchen, ducking around the barrier. The music from the TV is quieter from here, though still audible. He almost doesn’t see Azuma at first, only registering Azuma when he moves. Azuma’s back is pressed against the side of the fridge, and he has a bottle of water in his hands, his knuckles strained white around the thin plastic.

“Azuma-san,” Tasuku murmurs, and he’s doing it again, moving without realizing, his feet carrying him forward until he’s inches from Azuma. Azuma looks up, his lips parting with a surprised sound.

“Ah, Tasuku,” he says. His voice is steady, but he’s an actor, and this means nothing. “You’re home, ha. How was your night?”

“It was fine. How are you?”

“Me? I’m fine,” Azuma echoes. His hand twitches toward the counter as if to set the water bottle down, but his fingers spasm at the last second and he loses his grip. The water bottle tumbles to the floor, hitting the tile with a wet _thunk_. Azuma breathes out shakily. “How clumsy of me. I’m sorry, Tasuku...”

“Let’s go somewhere else,” Tasuku insists. He bends down to grab the fallen bottle and presses it back into Azuma’s hands. Once he’s touching Azuma, he lingers, folding his hands over Azuma’s own. Azuma allows this, and takes a breath that seems to get caught in the maze of his lungs as he breathes it in. He blinks up at Tasuku, his golden eyes flickering over Tasuku’s face.

“Where?” he asks.

Tasuku turns wordlessly, leading Azuma by his hands out the other side of the kitchen and around to the back staircase, avoiding the living room altogether. Azuma climbs the stairs behind him, and allows Tasuku to pull him into his and Tsumugi’s bedroom, shutting the door behind them. Azuma sits down on the edge of Tasuku’s bed, and Tasuku sits down beside him, resisting the urge to grab his hands again.

“Tsumugi is out tutoring; I’m not sure when he’ll be back. We can look for Arisugawa or Mikage, or Gai-san, if you know where he is, since you see him most.” Tasuku is trying to think, cover all his bases, gather anything and everything that Azuma might need right now. “But... I, it’s...” He stumbles over his words, not wanting to give Azuma hollow platitudes. “I’m here,” he decides instead.

Azuma is looking up at him, a faint smile on his lips. He reaches up and touches Tasuku’s cheek gently, and then drops his hand back to his lap. He takes a breath that fills the sail of his chest, and then exhales slowly, as if trying not to disturb the quiet air around them.

“You rushed to my aid, my knight in shining armor,” he says, a laugh in his voice. “Thank you. I can take care of myself, but it’s nice to be cared for, even so.”

“Standing in the kitchen frozen—” Azuma’s eyes light up at the unintentional pun. “That’s not taking care of yourself. What were you planning to do if someone hadn’t come?”

Azuma hesitates, his gaze retreating from Tasuku’s face to a neutral point on the wall across from them, which means Tasuku hit the nail on the head. When he speaks, his voice is quiet. “Do you ever have flashbacks, Tasuku? Or panic attacks?”

Tasuku rarely even gets stage fright anymore, although that fear is not quite the same as what Azuma experiences. He hesitates, then shakes his head. “No. Is that— Is that what you were doing?”

“Hmm, something like that.” Azuma takes a breath. “Most of my flashbacks happen when I’m asleep these days.” Tasuku nods. “But, well... Have you seen that film?”

“No. Minagi was telling me about it, and I thought—” Tasuku struggles to remember what exactly had gone through his head when he bolted for the living room. “I thought it might be something you wouldn’t want to see.”

“Aha.” Azuma pokes his arm. “You’re very thoughtful, Tasuku. I like that about you.”

Tasuku nods. “You’re derailing.”

“ _Fufu_ , perhaps. I have never seen Frozen, so I didn’t know what to expect. That scene...caught me off-guard.” Azuma’s voice is steady, but Tasuku watches as his fingers wind themselves in his ponytail, wrapping tight until his fingertips begin to go red. “Before I knew it, I was... It was like I wasn’t there anymore. Not on the couch, but back at my old house. Alone. The same feeling as when I got the news, like my chest was full of icewater.” He sighs, the same shaky sound as when he’d dropped the water bottle. “At any rate, I could barely move my body to get out of the room. When I got to the kitchen, it was a little easier.”

Tasuku draws in a slow breath. He’s never experienced something like that before, but he knows it must be terrifying; he’d know even if he couldn’t see Azuma shaking next to him.

“What would you have done if I hadn’t come in?” he asks again.

“Oh,” Azuma laughs, “I hadn’t thought that far... I suppose I would have tried to find someone to talk to. Almost everyone was watching the movie, but, for example, I know Sakyo-kun was going to take a bath... I could have found someone to stay with me. It helps to not be alone.”

Tasuku nods. So rushing to Azuma’s side was the right idea, then, even if he’s not sure he can help all that much. “Okay. Well, you have someone now, so now what?”

“Now nothing. I’m already calming down, see?” Azuma holds out his hands, showing Tasuku.

“Your hands are still shaking.”

“Not as badly!” Azuma insists. He’s smiling, though, which Tasuku takes as a real sign that he’s recovering. “You truly helped me out. My knight.”

“Hah.” He shouldn’t indulge Azuma with these nicknames, but... Tasuku puts his hand on Azuma’s head and ruffles his hair, as gently as he can. “My queen.”

“I do like the sound of that.” Azuma allows the head rub until Tasuku takes his hand back, and then immediately pulls his hair tie out and starts redoing the ponytail, quickly combing his hair back with practiced ease.

Tasuku laughs. “Sorry.”

There’s a knock on the door. Tasuku and Azuma both look up, and Tasuku calls, “Come in.”

The door opens, spilling Arisugawa and Mikage into the room. “Azuma-san!” Arisugawa shouts, and immediately plops down on Azuma’s other side, crushing Tasuku’s pillow underneath him. He grasps Azuma’s hands, and Azuma lets him, laughing softly.

“What’s the rush, Homare?”

“The others downstairs said that you two left and came up here. I remembered the plot of the film and put two and two together! Are you all right?”

As he talks, Arisugawa squeezes Azuma’s hands with one of his own; the other flies up to his hair, where he winds the asymmetrical long strands around his fingers. Mikage steals away one of Azuma’s hands for himself, and settles on Arisugawa’s other side, nestled between him and the headboard of the bed.

“Goodness, all this fuss over me...” Azuma’s cheeks are uncharacteristically pink. _It’s cute_ , Tasuku’s mind supplies, unbidden. “I’m all right, though. Tasuku took good care of me.”

“Don’t say it like that,” Tasuku groans.

“I wanted to take care of Azuma too,” Mikage says, pressing closer into Arisugawa’s side. “You should have found us. Alice was boring me in our room anyway.”

“Hisoka-kun! To think you would say something like that...”

In spite of their antics, or maybe from the comfort of them, Azuma’s laughing, his head tilting to the side as he surveys the others with a softness Tasuku could never reproduce, even onstage. “Thank you, Homare, Hisoka. I’ll look for you next time.”

Arisugawa jolts, crossing his arms in an X over his chest. “Not that I want there to be a next time!”

Azuma nods, that soft smile still on his lips. “Of course, of course.” He squeezes both of their hands. “I feel much better now that you're all here with me.”

Before Tasuku can think of what to say next, the door of the bedroom opens again. Tsumugi’s in the middle of a sentence, words that Tasuku can’t follow without the context, but he cuts himself off when he sees the assembly on Tasuku’s bed. He stops short in the doorway, and behind him, Gai stops too just shy of a collision. They’re both carrying shopping bags; Tasuku recognizes the logo of the gardening store Tsumugi frequents.

“Hi,” Tsumugi says. “You’re all here!”

“Tsumugi-kun!” Arisugawa immediately hops up from the bed. “Do you need help with those bags?” As soon as Arisugawa moves away, Mikage tips sideways into the space Arisugawa left vacant, like syrup pouring onto a plate. He rests his head against Azuma’s shoulder, his eyelids fluttering shut, and Azuma pets his hair.

“Oh no, I’ll just put them on the floor,” Tsumugi laughs, and does just that, motioning for Gai to do the same. “What’s the occasion?”

Perhaps subconsciously, Arisugawa’s eyes flick over to Azuma, still idly petting Mikage’s hair. “Ah,” he says, “we are spending time with Azuma-san!”

“Did something happen?” Gai crosses the floor with his customary brisk strides and kneels in front of Azuma, stealing the hand that isn’t in Mikage’s hair and holding it carefully. “Are you all right?”

The pink is back in Azuma’s cheeks; Tasuku knows how much Azuma likes being waited on like that. Azuma laughs, tossing his head back. “Perhaps. I’m all right now, though. There’s no need to fuss over me.”

“But there’s _always_ a reason to fuss over you,” Arisugawa protests, turning back to the bed. “Hisoka-kun, my spot!”

“Alice wasn’t using it,” Mikage says.

“I got up for one minute!”

Tsumugi intervenes before Tasuku’s head can start to hurt. “If we’re all going to sit together, we should move somewhere with more space, shouldn’t we? There’s a couch in Azuma-san’s room, right?”

Even though Mikage’s face is hidden, Tasuku swears he can sense his eyes lighting up. “The comfiest couch...”

“If you all don’t have anything better to do,” Azuma says, looking at Tasuku.

Arisugawa spreads his arms with a gaudy flourish. “What could be better than this!”

“Of course we don’t,” Tsumugi says emphatically.

“You’re precious to us,” Gai says, getting creakily to his feet.

Tasuku looks back at Azuma and nods. “Let’s go to your room.”

Azuma looks like he’s going to protest, his mouth hanging half-open in an uncharacteristically inelegant expression. He lifts a hand to his mouth, blinking a few times. “Yes, I...” Seeming to come to a decision, he nods firmly, and starts to rise from the bed. “Let’s go, then.”

**Author's Note:**

> [twiter](http://twitter.com/futarinoshoutai)


End file.
